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Page 161

So maybe Bill was training Monica to be
a great orator. Stuff your thumb in your mouth
(THUMB! I said Thumb!) and try to say
"Four score and seven years ago...".

Hmmm -- makes the tongue twitch,
might be a real turn-on. Perhaps I've just discovered
a future sex-fad. The johns will pay extra
for a fellator orator -- or fellorator?...orfellator?
(Having an orfell time latterly?) You'll overhear
"She likes to go down on me, but I can't get her
to memorize a rousing speech." "But Honey,
it's bad manners to talk with your mouth full!"

Could any man (any REAL man) hold off coming
so as not to drown out the peroration? I can hear myself
now -- skipping to Lincoln's conclusion, taking,
as it were, the words (but ONLY the words)
out of her mouth: "Ah...AH...O! OF THE PEOPLE BY
THE PEOPLE AND FOR THE PEEEEPLE!!"
(Drive a new Lincoln Incontinental today!)

And in the background, a shrill hum, as millions
of sperm scream, "Give me liberty or give me death"
and get both at once. It's a learning experience for them:
Live in loin.

Of course, it is traditional to associate fellatio
with presidents (press-it-ins), though not with oratory,
since such mouth-filling work (a job, after all) supports
only the inarticulate purr and wet sucking sounds.
(It's called fellatio because of all the sucking up
required to win fellowships. And maybe because
it's how some fellows do it with each other. Fellows
make strange bedfellows.)

Note: Stanza 4: "Live in loin" – that is, live and learn. The sperm are still alive when in a man's "loins". Hundreds of millions of them die in each sex act, one surviving (as part of the newborn) if impregnation occurs – I guess two surviving with fraternal twins. Bad odds! Sperm – not a recommended career choice.

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