What answers are YOU waiting for?
Have you ever spoken or written to someone
who died without having answered?
Have you ever asked a vital question
("Do you love me?" "Can I PLEASE
go to the movies with Danny?") that was
never answered or -- the same thing --
answered with a non-answer ("I find you...
fascinating," "Don't bother me with that
now! Do you have any idea how much I have
to do around here? The meals, the clean
clothes you wear, keeping this house, that YOU
turn into a filthy pigsty, clean -- did you
track that into the living room! -- and do I get
any help from you or your father?...") or a printed
rejection slip (Thank you for considering us,
or you said "Hi" to someone who walked past,
ignoring or not having heard -- you never
found out which, and now it would be silly
to ask. And you've been waiting so long
for so many answers, all this waiting
congealing into your private notion of Heaven,
where all will be answered or obliviated
(for an answer is simply a way to make
a question vanish, which is why nothing-at-all,
oblivion, nirvana are popular notions of Heaven),
and you may become starved for answers, so that any
are welcome, even the most vicious irresistible:
"What is the source of all this misery?"
In the long absence of answers,
any answer seems better than none, even,
"The Jews are responsible for our misery" or
"You have a chemical imbalance in your brain."
(Another clumsy chemical just slipped
and fell from tight-rope wire to safety net.
Our poor brains, full of chemicals that
trip over their own feet!)
How much of your attention has been snagged
on these blanknesses? Where, in your life,
are you trapped, unable to move forward or back?
If you can find the questions, you can, yourself,
answer them. Fill in the blank: