January 7, 2006
Light Verse -- Palindrome Poems:
This is the second palindrome page. Again, a palindrome is a word
or group of words that reads exactly the same, letter for letter,
whether read forwards or backwards. (Note: It's the letters that
count, not punctuation marks or spaces.) Thus "Otto" and
"Madam, I'm Adam" and "Able was I ere I saw Elba"
are classic palindromes.
What follows are more of my attempts to write palindrome poems
and witticisms. In nearly every case, the entire poem (not counting
the title) is a palindrome. Sometimes (where so noted) the title
is a separate palindrome. In a few cases (where so noted), not the
poem itself, but each individual line of the poem is a palindrome.
I put my favorite ones in the first palindrome section. I like
most of these, too. The third palindrome page contains the ones
I feel are the weakest, but is worth a look (if you're interested
in palindromes) for their ambition. Often they are weak because
I worked hard to extend a palindrome into a 10 or 12 or 20 line
poem. That's not so easy try it.
Gangsta, Can You Do Tit-Willow?
No, it is opera, parodic.
I do rap, a re-position.
Gangsta Sour Grapes On Not Making The Hit Parade
"Rats! Parades suck cock!"
cussed a rap star.
Who Let Them Go Ashore?
Bats! nuts! -
pirates set a-rip
damn us, stun,
Did Brutus Have the Support of Rome?
"Et tu, Brute,
et urb ut te?"
[Translation: "You, too, Brutus, and the city with you?"
Actually, Caesar is supposed to have said to Brutus, as Brutus and
the other assassins stabbed him, "Et tu, Brute?"
"You, too, Brutus?"]
On The Use Of Diseased Whores To Infect Enemy
SEX OP MEGA-TARTS stratagem: Poxes!
How To Create A World
Cain Wonders If, Killing Abel, He Killed Himself
Denials, denials! I: Mad role -
Vile! Bad! Evil!
I, Cain, am a MANIAC!
Abel I've (Lord! Am I
Judas Prepares to Hang Himself
Sin if I live. Die soon.
Won (O!) gelt...sop! Apostle...
go now. Noose...I, devil I...Finis!
Sin if I live? Die soon...nil!
Lawyer gelt - sop, Apostle!
Grey wall...in noose...I, devil I...
[Note: "Gelt" is Yiddish for "gold" or money,
in this case the 30 pieces of silver.]
Hitler's Ghost Is Amazed To Meet A Skinhead
"Hero? I? Vas 'oo der, Charlie?"
"HEIL! RAH! CREDO! O SAVIOR!"
[Note: Hitler replies to skinhead's hero worship "Vas oo
der, Charlie", a Germanized take-off on the punch line of an
old radio joke: "Was you dere, Charlie?" I guess the Hitler
in this poem, having been there and done that, is no longer impressed
by the supposed glory of it all.]
Your Poet Boasts A Bit
(Garbage - e.g., a Brag)
O needle keen am I,
What James Cagney Does Best
Billionaires Take Candy From Baby
(NOT, Nob, Ala Bon Ton!)
Snob nobs nosh -
The South Rises To Avenge Lee's Defeat
Was Peck Miscast in Moby Dick?
Ahab? Revenger? -
Captain Ahab Converts And Gives Up Vengeance
Dog was I -
AHAB was I
ere I saw Bahai,
The Dona Exults Over The NRA Official She Just Shot
Oh who gab, Senor,
of snug guns for one's bag -
Agatha Christie Plots
A Hercules, a case, lucre...HA!
The Culprit Flees to Brazil
To Rio, Poirot!
[Note: The two poems above refer to Hercules Poirot, one of
Agatha Christie's sleuths. Having said that, I am suddenly troubled
is he "Hercules" or "Hercule"? One letter
off and there goes the palindrome. Bah! In MY poems, he's Hercules.]
Why I Love Old-Fashioned War
Risk! Cask! combat!
Stab! Mock! Sack! Sir.
O gas, pass!
[Note: The speaker has gas (and wishes it would pass
that is, wants to fart) after eating sapsago, a hard Swiss cheese.]
Pot Washer's Job Description
Spots on pan, on pots' tops.
Post: Sops pot's top -
NO NAP, NO STOPS.
The Joy Of Martyring
Ooh! A yelp, Martyr?
Every trample - YAHOO!
[Note: A sadist's viewpoint.]
How To Keep The Students Awake
Don't Fall Asleep in Church, Dad!
Sopor, Pa? -- lame! Malapropos!
[Note: "Sopor": Deep sleep, stupor.]
On Reading My Poems to a Friend
Sopor, pal, ami --
Is This Job Taken?
No, it is open - one position.
Playboy Weds Child
Was It Nox, Roman Goddess of Night (Identified With
Greek Nyx), Made Nixon Seem Noxious, Or Was It
The Oxlike Heavy Thudding Dullness Of His Image?
Nox in Nixon a toxin?
Nix! O tan ox
The General Answers The
Stripper Who Asked If He Was
Glad To See Her
"Pat I no banana,
Proper English Governess Explains Sex to Young Rani
"A lunacy, Rani -
rude mot I penis name -
A Druid Prays To The Spirit In A Tree To Save Him From Evil
O Temple, Help me -
Tree! Seer-Temple! -
Help me to live.
Hunter Tells His Mom What He Wants In Life
Disgruntled Potato Farmer Leaves His Mucky Idaho Farm
I'm (Sin I?) flat tuber'd up so!
O had I a ham of Omaha!
Idaho, O spud rebuttal -
Reporter in Serejevo - His Hotel Shelled -
Finds His Aspirin And Notes
Guns set on Hotel -
battlefield. Dumb muddle, I felt.
Correspondent to Editor: Brass are Stonewalling,
I'm Censored, Battle Was Disaster. Expose them
Me? Parrot I Denials...sigh!
Saw battlefield - dumb muddle!
I felt tab was too high -
Editor, RAP 'em!
[Note: "Parrot I denials" is bad palindrome syntax
for "Shall I parrot denials?" that is, the Pentagon
denials of a lost battle. This was no "GI hoot", he says
(no party or bash).]
Bold Tempermental Toscanini Rehearses For LIVE Radio
Performance - Is Furious When A Horn Enters Late And Off-key,
Curses Radio, Then Gives The Correct Key
I'm I. Mega-vast radio void...
Arturo Toscanini - live! So
I dare radio's evil..."In! IN!
a C, sot!" O rut radio! Void
Art, savage! "Mi mi..."
Cuban Shrink Chews Bubble Gum (Having Sworn Off Cigars) And
Ponders His Castro Fixation
Is it Fidel's?
I'm I, mug, puff up;
I wonder...Castro's? Si,
Ho! Tragic! -
O genital Latin ego!
to his sort sacred.
Now I puff up gum,
I, misled if 'tis I.
One defoliated man
(O Help! Murder! Red rumple - Ho!) -
NAM, detail of.
Oppenheimer on Atomic Bombs
Alone, Enola emits POP!
Pop's not a gem -
fired NOW! - utter effusion -
I suffer - et tu? - wonder:
If megatons pop, pops time? Alone,
Too long no loot.
How Your Caress Affects Me, Love
Tap a tip - PIT-A-PAT!
Her Response When Tired Of Hearing
That Her Breasts Are White Doves,
Ripe Peaches, silken pillows, etc:
Oh, PAT 'em!
Maestro Tells Sidney How To Keep A Prima Donna Happy
DESSERT! Sidney - Diva's avid yen,
Cloning Designer Genes
[Note: The fashion models certainly look like aliens.]
The Yogi Doll
"No - it OMs."
Mrs. Teitlebaum Visits Her Son's Ashram
Yoga? You? Oy!
On Guru rug? No! You?
Oy! A goy!
Why Are You Gentiles So Trim?
We jog, O Jew.
Dad Finds Son a Rake and Coke-head
Liar! Flirt! Son - nostril-frail!
[Note: Coke-heads get a lot of nose bleeds and other nose frailties.]
Instruction to Hit Man
The Astronomer Tries to Jump-Start his Muse
In a rut?
Evita Takes Pride In Her Reputation
(Peron On Rep)
Hey! One me, sui generis - EVITA!
Genera are negative? - siren, e.g.? -
I USE men - O yeh!
Egos on the Loose
Situation: No "I" taut is.
How to Perform War And Peace
An Anabasis is a banana?
[Note: "Anabasis" means "to go up" and refers
to the march of Greek forces to defeat the Persians. Since one may
slip up on a banana, this Palindrome almost makes sense.]
Keeping Anglican Dad Calm
How The Drunk Driver Walks A Straight Line
Central American Revolutionary Wakes From Day Dream
I did rob,
mob abolish -
Oh si! -
lob a bomb!...
or did I?
The French Yogi Introduces Himself to Descartes
Moi? I OM.
Fat Character Actor Erases A Video In Disgust
O hoot! Suet! Ah, dewlaps!
Rats! On ERASE!
Not a few tubs are macho, oh cameras,
but we fat ones are no stars, pal -
we'd hate us too! Ho!
Adolescent Defends Calling His Teacher An Ass
In That It's Not A Bad Word, Words Don't Kill
And He Has A Right To His Own Voice
Ma, is "ass" a sin?
Is sass an assassin?
I sass as I am!
Paul Tells Christ The Latest:
Peter Goes To Rome. The Byword Is
Ignore The Lukewarm, Push JOY
Send I PETER on gig;
Time to the Man on Death Row
Waiting for his Request for Pardon
to be Refused
[Note: "Noes'" Looks odd, but is simply the plural
possessive of "no". One no, several noes. The condemned
man may receive one no after another.]
The Time it Takes to Figure Things Out by Intellect Alone
[Note: "Noesis" means "comprehension by operation
of the intellect alone.]
Spinster, Losing Her Queen, Playing Chess
With Her Gigolo, Makes A Suggestion:
Maid loses. Oh pro,
old I am.
Peiping Tom Enjoys Himself
Peep - O, shade - not!
Tub...nude, red, unbuttoned -
AH SO! PEEP!
A Gypsy (Rom) Who Has Traveled Alone Too Long
Recalls Coming Upon A Dairy, Cheese, Cows And A
Dairy Maid...Wishes For Many More Such Maids
One Rom - On!
Had I a maid!
An edam I saw, two cow, one dairy maid -
Ah! Had I a myriad - Enow!
O cow, 'twas I made Nadia
maid - ah! - no more, no.
Description Of Lover
Passion? No - is sap!
What's That Red Star Each Evening?
Red? A Venus,
Ma of foam,
[Note: "Ma of foam" Venus pictured rising from
the foaming sea to step from a shell. "Sun evader" since
she's the evening star (though also morning star, unfortunately
for my poem.)]
When The Eton-Harrow Dart Games Get Out of Hand
Eton foeman I straddle!
I wield darts - I,
name of note!
[Note: This is a mock-epic palindrome imitates the Iliad,
where hero straddles foeman and, before and during battle, brags
about his fierce and noble name.]
Discovering Naked Ned, Kids Cover Him With Mud
Mud Ned up! KOOL!
The Abridged HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER
Navigation on radar? No no! I tag Ivan.
[Note: Radar pings will alert enemy sub.]
The Unabridged HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER,
Including The Ocean's Song
Mum! Level...(deep song)...No speed!
Radar ON, Navigation? No! I tag Ivan -
NO RADAR!...(deep song)...No speed...
And In An Earlier Submarine War - U.S.
Destroyer Commander Plans To Sink Jap Sub:
Ping at 'em...me tag nip!
Mr. Jefferson, Are You Happy With The
Articles Of Confederation?
No - I TUT!
It's no Constitution!
Justice Rehnquist, Are You Satisfied With
No! I TUT its
[Note: Many conservatives objected to forced busing.]
How Men Court
Meet a mate,
net a Ma:
How Women Court
I meet; I mate;
pet am I;
Justification To An IRS Auditor
Evasion? No - I save.
Faulkner Tells His Editor He Now Considers
His Use Of Italics Self-Indulgent
O get set, editor -
NO ITAL. EVER!
A rot I detest - Ego!
Student's Ponderings As He Falls Asleep
Over His Notes During A Lecture On
Figures Of Speech:
O me! Metonymy...note my...
Flood's Over. Sacrifice the Ram? Noah - No!
Ha! On Mt. Ararat mar a ram? Tar a rat, M. Noah!
He Wanted To Be President
I? Made VEEP? Peeved am I.
Scrooge, Feeling Sexual Lust, Questions His Identity
Oh Whores! I'm sane - been in rut! -
as saturnine Eben? as miser?
[Note: "Eben" short for Ebenezer.]
Will it Help my Cause to Quote the Newspapers?
Cite media? Nay! An aid emetic!
She Rejects Her Mother-in-law's "Help"
A help, Ma? No, it is opposition ample - HA!
When Do I Get the Girl in the Car Ad?
O Honda Civic ad...
Hamlet to Gertrude
I, Ma, no saga, gape,
I'd adore, hymn my hero Dad
in awe: Pa!
(Gaga son am I.)
Pari passu, I, dual Claudius,
sap I rap.
Callow, But Dangerous
Laertes, Pup!...upset real.
[Note: The three preceding palindromes all concern Hamlet. The
last describes Laertes, an impulsive young man a pup, but
dangerous and with real reason for his upset with Hamlet. The second
says "Pari passu" (meaning "at the same time")
because Hamlet stabs Claudius while dueling with Laertes. Claudius
is the sap he "raps". In the first of these, Hamlet tells
his mother, Gertrude, that his life is no glorious sag. He's gaping,
wan with despair, at the death of the Dad he worships.]
Mugger Proudly Confesses
Hey! Did nail I victim?
DID - YEH!
Aeneas Struts Before His Men, Singing Of Arms And The Man
O did I do Dido? I, Dido's Aeneas? -
AENEAS! O did I! O
Dido did I do!
[Note: Virgil's epic, the "Aeneid", which includes
the story of Dido and Aeneas, begins "Of arms and the man I
Queen Gets Too Involved With Trojan Leader
Did Dido on Boss Aeneas
(Troy orts, Aeneas - S.O.B., no?)
OD? Id did.
[Note: Aeneas, leading his band of Trojans escaping from fallen
Troy (Troy "orts" or leftovers), spends some time in Carthage,
where he seduces the queen, Dido, sating her Id. When he leaves,
Dido kills herself. So Aeneas is a bit of an S.O.B. -- one on whom
Gay Rapist's MO
One-Eyed Man Overwhelmed by Garbo's Glance
O, no brags!
Simple honeyed eyes
Miss Garbo! No!
[Note: No brags, because the speaker the one-eyed man
is modest and doesn't consider himself attractive. Garbo's
attention was simply caught by his one remaining eye.]
Young Man Begs Mom To Stop Him
From Violating Curfew In His Lust
Star! Manet-lit nude!
O grab me, ma! I am embargoed
until ten a.m.
Overworked Dishwasher Snaps
Pans, pots (O! Ten! O! A ton!)...hose dish....
Saw I fine vessel tops - spotless? Even if I
wash sides...Oh not a one! To stop...
[Note: This almost makes sense: He's an obsessive pot washer.
He's got a lot of pots and pans to wash. He sees the vessel tops,
but none are spotless. He works on them some more, including their
sides, but still, not a one is spotless. He thinks, if only I could
stop ("To stop..."), then snaps.]
Some Pious Folk Think Radio Is Satan's Tool
Oh sin avoid! A radio!
Ridiculing The Notion That A Conspiracy Existed
To Hide The "Fact" That Bacon Was Shakespeare
La! Bacon bard? Pardi! Rats!
O my ASS! Essay: Most arid rap -
DRAB! No cabal!
[Notes: "Pardi" means "By God!" The point
is, that it's hard to see Bacon as having written the works of Shakespeare,
since his known essays are so dry ("arid rap"). "No
cabal" refers to and rejects the theory that a vast conspiracy
(cabal) hid Shakespeare's "true" identity (as Bacon) from
us. That's the way the palindrome palavered.]
Isis & Osiris on Realizing That They
Are Brother & Sister, Not Just Spouses
O Sir, I sob!"
Osiris: O Sis!
Why Weep So, Isis?"
Sir, I sob "Osiris!"
Eunuch Asks, is the Sinecure Already Filled?
No, it is open, if a sinepenis -
a fine position.
[Note: Coined word, a play on "sinecure" a
sinepenis being one without a penis, like, sometimes, a Eunuch.
Actually this poem is marred by fact: Usually a eunuch has a penis,
just no balls. However, I have it on the authority of the Arabian
Nights that a "clean eunuch" lacks all of these.]
Working on the Roman Railroad
Nail a tie, Italian.
Feminist View Of Bobbitt's Fate
Elan adrenal! Lewd mirth's art:
Goddesses bob obsessed dog -
trash trim'd well,
a nerd, anal ego, dog!
Woodrow Wilson Wanted Words For Weapons,
But With World War, Woodrow Would Row!
[Note: "Row" in the sense of have a row, a scuffle.
Wilson campaigned as a "peace" candidate, promised to
keep the U.S. out of World War I, to handle things with words (diplomacy),
but, of course, he took the U.S. into the war.]
Bachelor's brief Delight
He peels red underpants: Eros -
Eros RISEN! O Gosh...AH!!...
So? Gone, Sir...
Sore. So? Rest, nap (red, nuder),
A Gigolo Contemplates His Role In Life
Solo gig: Lay - O! -
lewd, age-mad maid...
A lad I am, Dame...
We loyal gigolos!
Mid-Sex, The Tenor Calls His Spine A Whore
Because It Goes Out On Him. He Doubts His Virility
In rut...O tart!
Ail I or castrato turn I?
[Note: "Tart" in the sense, "whore".]
With a Sore Testicle, In a Hurry to Jerk Off
But Taking Forever, He's Got the...
Hester Prynne Stands In The Sun, Wishing
She'd Avoided Sex With The Minister
It is I - Oh! - who's, alas, unmade!
I fret sin. I'm...Sun! Oh crimson I am!
Red A vexes bosom! O sob!
Sex evader...Ma, I?
No smirch on us, Minister??
Fie! Damn us!
Alas! Oh who is it?
[Note: Supposedly giving us Hester's thoughts as she stands
there as a punishment displaying her scarlet A (for
Adultery) to her Puritan fellow citizens in Hawthornes "The
Scarlet Letter". Actually, in the book she doesn't much regret
her passion. Here she's ashamed. It's not my fault -- the demands
of palindrome did it. When she thinks "Sex evader...ma I?",
she's puzzled that someone who resisted sex as much as she did should
now be a mother.]
Lab Tech Diagnoses Monkey Tissue
A lobe...not sere, but...
tsetse? No. Bones? Test tube...
[Note: I live in Reston, VA. And monkeys that escaped from a
facility near here years ago were said to be carriers of the Ebola
Bartender, While telling His Apprentice How To Polish
Glasses, Describes A Regular Customer
"Nigerian oil. Liberal?
Anal are billionaire -
gin, bad tips."
Italian Poet, Bored With Unhappy Romance, Says Let The Po
River Shed Tears For Love, Dear, While We Elope To Rome
Amore! Po, let Italia
wail at it!
Elope - Roma!
Tanning Salon Patron Goes Through Hell (And Can't Bear
To Be Touched) For Vanity's Sake
Flesh a ham-raw red do flare -
NO - I tan, mad fool, eral fodder -
Short Form: Popular Torture Chamber
Damnation? No, I tan...mad!
Too Long in the Sun
On red nude:
Tardy, he'd dehydrated under noon burn --
If Not For A Man And A Plan...
Sad - no canal;
[Note: Title refers to classic palindrome: "A man, a plan,
a canal: Panama!" (See variations on it, below.) My poem says,
what if there were no man nor plan, so no canal in Panama, just
anacondas and Noriega.]
High Air Fares
Man! A plane venal: PanAm.
Sodomist Finds Paradise on Isthmus
A man, a plan, a clan, anal canal: Panama!
The Excitement Cloys
A man, a plan, a clan, a banal canal: Panama.
Eddie Murphy Addresses George Burns' Ghost
I redo "O God!" to rob a hero, George.
"NEGRO EGO REHAB" -- O Rot! Do-gooder I?
Eddie Murphy Addresses George Burns' Ghost
I redo "O God!" to grab a hero, George.
"NEGRO EGO REHAB" -- argot!
Eddie Murphy Addresses George Burns' Ghost
I redo "O God!", grab a hero, George.
"NEGRO EGO REHAB" -- arg!
[Note: Three versions, same theme, the idea being that Eddie
Murphy is slated to remake the George Burns comedy, "O God!"
in which George starred as God, so as to make Black people feel
good about themselves (Negro Ego Rehab). In the second version Murphy
rejects this idea as cant (argot). In the third, he is simply disgusted
by it (arg!). I wrote these before Hollywood realized that Morgan
Freeman, another Black actor, is God.]
Disgusted Preacher Rants About Yokels Who Peek
At Topless Dancer Being Helped Into Her Outfit
Era's live art? Lust!
O Idiots essay ("oh!") a peek:
Tulsa dame, inept fad!
Do garb on...Spot on!"
Obese bodega-red nude,
kansas-naked, underaged -
"No tops! No bra! GOD!!!"
Th' git! Hose it, sap! Daft, penie-mad! A slut!
To idiots, ultra evils are.
The Effect of Cow-Eyes Upon Cod-Pieces
Deli orbs dociled -
Deli cods broiled!
[Note: That is, the gentle (docile) cow eyes heat up the cod-pieces,
which, in olden days, were what men tucked their genitals into.]
A Vulture Curses - A Parasol Obscures His Prey
"Rot! Parasol be up!" -
So, at Taos Pueblos, a raptor.
Edna Offers Emphysemic Spouse Oxygen & Pills. He Responds:
Air? Oh P U, Edna! Medicine? -
Deep orgy! Revel! Every grope
Edenic! I demand EUPHORIA!
Herb (Rue) Recommended to Medicate Venereal Sore
Sore? Eureka! Take rue, Eros.
Tired of Mockery, Couch Potato Loses Weight
"Hey, hot-tub butt! Oh YEH!"
Mirth - HATE idiot-tube butt! O, I diet...Ahh - trim!
[Note: Each line is a separate palindrome. Line one is the mockery.
In line 2, the couch potato reacts to the mockers' mirth, says he
hates his idiot-tube butt (that is, a fat ass from watching TV all
Seeing How Many Have Died Because Of Paris'
Infatuation, Diomedes Hates Trojan Women
O he, Paris, lived for 'em.
May I not! O, I, Diomedes,
abased 'em...O idiot - on I
yammer of devils I rape - ho!
Eely Proteus Escapes Menelaus And Taunts Him
Hey, Menelaus - unusual enemy, Menelaus -
unusual enemy, eh?
[Note: Menelaus wrestles with shape-changing Proteus in Homer's
Dead Iphigenia Speaks In A Vision To Clytemnestra
I was no belle -
hot set Agamemnon on me, Ma -
Gates to hell, ebon, saw I...
[Note: Agamemnon sacrificed his daughter, Iphigenia, to win
favor for his army in the war against Troy.]
A Classical Drama
La! It's Electra - art celestial!
Orestes, Free Of Furies, Goes Off Quietly, Alone
At Attica, tacit Orestes -
no onsets erotic; a tacit
[Note: After Orestes kills his mother and her lover (to avenge
their killing of his father, Agamemnon), the Furies are supposed
to hound him for his act, but because of his reasons, he is spared.].